05 February 2009


There are days when nothing happens inside your person, just simply nothing. Nothing to be excited about, happy about, sad about. Sure a lot of things may be happening all around you but somehow they don't evoke any kind of emotion from you at all. Maybe you just don't allow them to surface, or perhaps they were never there in the first place. You feel like there is a big hole in the very core of your being and emotions just flow through it without affecting you one bit.

That is how Mr. B. said he feels today.

But surely, I said, you must feel blessed to be able to take a break from your usual emotional rollercoaster, no? But then again perhaps not because that would have been an emotion, a feeling, and he said there's nothing.

I thought about that song in A Chorus Line "Nothing". I know in a funny way it brings tears to Mr. B.'s eyes that song. Maybe at some point in his life he imagined riding a bobsled, be an ice cream cone, a sportscar or a table, and still feels nothing.

I see humans around me as tired souls, trying to "feel" and trying to "be". As if "feeling" and "being" are the only ways to remind oneself that one is indeed "living". Or is it?

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