26 July 2009

Sophisticated Ladies

In our household, we are all males. Somehow, there isn't any female bear in the house. I am not sure if Mr. B. intentionally adopted only male bears but that was just it. My only encounter with female species was when I went to the Philippines with Mr. B. and met Lisa Whitfield, a female bear from the US who liked nice clothes as well as Russell (maybe because they are the same size).

From my research about humans, I learned that the female species is a very complicated one so I asked Mr. B. if this is true because he gets to met a lot of them everyday.

"It's a very complex subject matter! Stick with topics you know otherwise I might get into trouble!."

"But I want to learn more about them!" I insisted.

"I have a few encounters with some of them. That's all I can say." said Mr. B.
My persistence paid off when he started telling me about some of the colorful female characters he came across in his life.

1. The one who likes chatting with Mr. B. on the phone until very late in the evening but would fall asleep halfway. Almost every time. Either she was really tired or he was really boring.

2. The one who wrote a long love letter to him asking if they can be together (as a couple). Before Mr. B.'s ego bloated, he found out that the she also confessed the same thing to his good friend. I guess either one of them would be good enough. She is not taking chances.

3. The one who hit him repeatedly with running shoes because she was so drunk and Mr. B. refused to let her out of the door to confront her then boyfriend.

4. The one who got pregnant and had a baby without the boyfriend knowing it until the day she delivered the baby. They live together in the same house. And slept in the same bed. Every night.

5. The one who is so ambitious she placed a voodoo slipper in her boss' office to have him fired. It worked. Big time. Be very afraid.

6. The one who uses Mr. B.'s apartment to cheat on her husband. Mr. B. told me it's the husband's fault.

7. The one who spent a fortune trying to beautify herself when the money could be put to better use feeding children in Africa. I saw her picture. I voted for Africa.

8. The one who claimed to be a martyr homemaker until Mr. B. found out that the reason for her forever immaculate kitchen is because she only boils vegetables for her kids and husband, and can't fry an egg properly. (Go to Patrick's Egg Watch in the right-hand column).

"It takes all kinds. They can be as complicated as male species too." Mr. B. concluded.

"Do you ever dislike them?" I asked.

"Only if they try to act cute."

Photo: "Sophisticated Ladies" acrylic on canvas by Lynne Sinclair Taylor

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