20 July 2010

Annoying Humans


Some humans are just annoying. Sometimes, they don't have to do anything to you, or to others. They just have to be themselves and manage to annoy. One fine example is Russell Brand, not Sprout, Brand! One look at him and you want to punch him in the face. I am usually not a violent bear, but that is the effect of Russell Brand to me.

It is not hard to annoy Mr. B. There are a few people in his list that would make him lose his temper within a split of a second - example: a clueless waitress or store sales clerk. Unfortunately, on the very top of his list of most annoying people is someone he cannot avoid. Someone he has to see everyday. Mostly, I can read it in his face, when he comes home at night, the amount of time he spent with this annoying human during the day. If he looks happy, that means very little interaction occurred.

I told Mr. B. it's a fact of life he must accept - to have to see, live, or work with people you hate most. The secret to how to deal with it. And since Mr. B. is nice to me, I told him a few tips on how to respond to this annoying person:

1. After the annoying person's long rant, simply say "Oh, really?" then turn around and walk away slowly.

2. Imitate the way the person talk and laugh so he/she would get a dose of his/her own medicine. This would require some sort of acting talent but Mr. B. is good at that.

3. Ignore the person's calls, emails and messages. When confronted, say "Oh! Did you? Really? I didn't see/hear/receive it! Oh!" in an overly dramatic way.

4. When confronted during lunchtime, pick a very expensive place to eat and make this person pay. Make sure you order extra for take away "because you have to work late tonight."

5. When having to respond to this person's mails, write a very, very long letter using words that would require checking the dictionary to understand. This is a very good way to make the person dizzy.

See, the point is to make the annoying person go crazy. Once a person goes crazy, he/she cannot be annoying anymore because crazy and annoying do not go together.

Except for Russell Brand.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Becker, I like all your suggestions except the "expensive dinner" because I will never ever have a meal, simple or not with an ANNOYING PERSON!!! What I try to do is to avoid him/her... I think it's better that way so as not to "succumb" yourself with 'high blood pressure'! Number 2 suggestion would be to understand their "bipolar ways".... ah, just let them be... and people would think they're crazy!
I have a few encounters recently, and I just take the situations at stride... relax and keep cool... or you might need Botox soooonn... oh, bears don't! =P

Becker said...

thank you for the additional suggestion! i will definitely tell mr. b. about it. and i hope he will understand that person's bipolar bear. i mean, bipolar ways....

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